Interview With the Gotei 13!
by naruto-fan0302
Summary: Exactly what the title said. Just a simple Q&A with the Shinigami captains... maybe some lieutenants as well.
1. Yamamoto

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Bleach. If I did, thenI would make the weirdest people go together.**

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1ST DIVISION CAPTAIN – YAMAMOTO SHIGEKUNI GENRYUUSAI

**Welcome muffins! So… how many fights have you been in?**

YSG: Exactly 193054034 in my life.

**Ryuujin Jakka is the strongest fire Zanpakuto. How do you feel about that?**

YSG: Hmph, I'm the oldest captain of the Gotei 13. What did you expect? (A: O.O OTT much?)

**Who is that lieutenant of yours?**

YSG: Come to think of it, I don't think I know his name myself.

**It's Sasakibe Choujiro…**

YSG: Really? I always thought his name was Sasuke (A: LOL reference to Naruto)

**How come you hardly ever open your eyes?**

YSG: I want to seem not as threatening so people will underestimate me as an old man who's gone bonkers.

**How many relationships have you been in your life?**

YSG: * coughs * I'd rather not say.

**Are you still a virgin?**

YSG: * looks at me threateningly *

**Do you even have children?**

YSG: Can you please stop asking me these questions?

**How did you get those muscles even though you're an old man?**

YSG: I do yoga twice a week, I do karate 5 days a week, train every day for 8 hours and I do boxing.

**O.O you do know that most of the time when you give out orders, nobody follows them?**

YSG: How dare they!! I thought I was the sou-taichou! I will kill them! (A: That's almost everybody he needs to kill then)

**Is that cane your Zanpakuto?**

YSG: You want to test it out?

**How many years did it take for your eyebrows to grow so long?**

YSG: You don't know how hard it had been for me to deal with short eyebrows. So, instead I got fake eyebrow extensions from the 12th Division. But don't tell anybody or feel the wrath of my Zanpakuto!

**Your beard is pretty long too…**

YSG: * glares * Don't insult it! It's also fake from the 12th Division.

**You know that out of the captains, you probably have the least fan girls…(besides Mayuri)**

YSG: What? I thought I was pretty good-looking for a man!

**Err ok. What do you think about the famous Kurosaki Ichigo?**

YSG: A LITTLE BRAT WHO DOESN'T FOLLOW MY ORDERS!!!! But I like his mask, it's awesome. (A: OOC much?)

**Thank you sou-taichou! Next up, we're going to interview Soifon, my FAVOURITE CHARACTER in Bleach and captain of the 2nd Division as well as the Omnitsukido. Reviews please!!!!**


	2. Soifon

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Soifon. Tite Kubo owns it. If I did then the world would have gotten rid of useless idiots such as Orihime.**

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**2ND DIVISION CAPTAIN – SOIFON**

**Do you like fish?**

No comment.

**Cake?**

No comment.

**Cheese?**

No comment.

**Beef?**

No comment.

**Are you gay with Yoruichi?**

No co… WHAT? HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING!

**Uh… don't you have like 100000 soft toys of her and posters up in your room?**

Uh… yes. But I'm straight. Perfectly straight.

**Why are you so short?**

Short people live longer!! And it's good for stealth.

**Your clothes are awesome.**

They'll never be as good as Yoruichi-sama's.

**Is your Zanpakuto annoying?**

Trust me, it's the most annoying thing on the planet. It's so childish!!

**Give some advice on dealing with fat annoying people as lieutenants.**

Ignore him. If he's really pissing me off I give him a good beat up, then demand him to give the 2nd Division another makeover and use up all his money.

**How did Omaeda become the lieutenant anyway?**

Seriously, I have no idea.

**What is it like in the 2nd Division?**

There's cracker crumbs all over the floor! We installed a lot of stuff in this place to make it luxurious whenever Yoruichi-sama comes to visit.

**You do know that you actually have a fan club consisting of many of your officers in your division?**

… Stop making fun of my chest size and height.

**I'm serious. Anyway the 3rd Seat of the 8th Division has an obsession with you also…**

I already said stop making fun of me. I'm not as attractive as Yoruichi-sama.

**Why don't you like your Bankai?**

It's really embarrassing and it offends my pride as an Omnitsukido agent. It's too slow and hard to lift up.

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**Thank you Soifon. Btw the Soifon fan club consists of me and I should be voted as president!! Anyway, next is Unohana (I'm skipping Gin the traitor. Don't get me wrong I think he's awesome but you have to tell the truth sometimes...)**


	3. Unohana

**Disclaimer: Sigh, do I have to go through this every time? I DO NOT OWN BLEACH OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS.**

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**4TH DIVISION CAPTAIN – UNOHANA RETSU**

**Why do you think the 11th Division is scared of you?**

My, my… I don't think I'm that scary, aren't I?

**You haven't demonstrated any of your awesome attacking ability to the world yet, when do you plan to?**

I'm not planning to… unless we are losing the Winter War against Aizen VERY badly. My Bankai really shouldn't be for public viewing… * smiles *

**Seriously, how old are you?**

* smiles that scary smile * You won't want to know.

**How does it feel like to be towered by your lieutenant?**

Oh Isane, she's a nice girl. Makes me feel intimidated.

**Why aren't you ever angry?**

If I'm angry, I'll scare everyone. *Smiles again *

**Can you please stop smiling?**

*Smiles and then glares at me *

**Maybe not…**

Good.

**How come you didn't have that braid 100 years ago?**

Braids are in style now, don't you think?

**Is Zaraki your boyfriend/husband?**

… Did Isane tell you that?

**What do you think about Hanataro?**

Nice little boy. Has good taste in makeup.

**Is your Zanpakuto a boy or a girl?**

I don't know. Minazuki never speaks to me.

**Who comes to your division the most?**

Ukitake. Apart from him everyone from the 11th Division. They should stop fighting. After all, their lives are in my hands.

**Which captain do you like the most?**

Ukitake. Always giving candy to little children (LOL at Hitsugaya) and deals well with tuberculosis.

**Then, do you have a crush on him?**

… What do you mean?

**Never mind *mumbles*. What is the weirdest rumour you've heard about yourself?**

Oh, that I am rather violent. I wonder who spread that rumour?

**Who styles your hair?**

Myself *smiles*.

**What would you say about your division?**

Very peaceful. That atmosphere is great don't you think?

**What was your favourite Christmas gift that you received?**

A new makeup set from Hanataro. 3

**What is a random fact about you?**

I enjoy going to the tea parties the General Commander hosts every month.

**We hear that you hold an ikebana class. How can I apply?**

There are no requirements ^^. Except for one. Violence will not be tolerated. If this rule is broken, you will suffer the consequences.

**O.O' Thank you for your time. *Rushes out the door***

My my, why did she run away?

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**A: Be a nice human and please review. It helps XD and don't just favourite or subscribe! Next up is probably Byakuya. Have a merry Christmas (even though it's already passed) and a HAPPY NEW YEAR! Till then.**


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